≈Ŧħε Īиѕıđзѕ ōƒ α Pūмpκıи≈ [entries|friends|calendar] ♥Pumpkin Queen♥ [ website | deviantART ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[10 Mar 2004|08:18am] [ mood | okay ] ok I have decided I am going to delete this old journal soon. There is no use keeping these old memories that just remind me of bad things when I read. I'm happy now. My life is different. For those of you who did no know I got another journal and would like to add me please do. It is modest_faerie. Behold! The Nightmare

[13 Dec 2003|10:28pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | NIN - the Downward Spiral ] I have a new livejournal ... it is http://www.livejournal.com/modest_faerie ... it is a friends only ... I think I'm gonna write in just that one now ... I've added people I want ... but please ask if you want to be added as my friend ... I'm only doing it so I wont be judged by what I say in my journal Behold! The Nightmare

[13 Dec 2003|12:39am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | wayne static - not meant for me ] Artist: Wayne Static of Static-X Lyrics Song: Not Meant For Me Lyrics You think you're smart You're not, it's plain to see That you want me to follow It's killing me let's see You've got the gall Come take it all The jury is coming Coming to tear me apart All this bitching and moaning Come on it's on I'm trapped in this world Lonely and fading Heartbroke and waiting For you to come We are stuck in this world That's not meant for me For me So what you got One last shot It seems to me That you're not needed Come on It's killing me let's see You got the gall Come take it all The jury is coming coming to tear me apart All this bitching and moaning Come on it's on I'm trapped in this world Lonely and fading Heartbroke and waiting For you to come We are stuck in this world That's not meant for me For me I'm trapped in this world Lonely and fading Heartbroke and waiting For you to come We are stuck in this world That's not meant for me For me I'm trapped in this world Lonely and fading Heartbroke and waiting For you to come We are stuck in this world That's not meant for me For me For me Behold! s The Nightmare

[13 Dec 2003|12:19am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | pretty girls make graves - the teeth collector ] Yeah I took this picture Thursday when I got home because I thought the sky looked pretty (edit: it's not showing now so just look at my deviantart at "the sky") The Nightmare

[12 Dec 2003|11:23pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | orgy ] "Blue Monday" How does it feel to treat me like you do When you've laid your hands upon me And told me who you are I thought I was mistaken I thought I heard your words Tell me How do I feel tell me now How do I feel How does it feel? How should I feel? Tell me how does it feel? To treat me like you do Those who came before me Lived through their vocations From the past until completion They'll turn away no more And I still find it so hard To say what I need to say But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me Just how I should feel today I see ship in the harbor I can and shall obey But if it wasn't for your misfortunes I'd be a heavenly person today And I thought I was mistaken And I thought I heard you speak Tell me now How should I feel Now I stand here waiting... I thought I told you to leave me While I walked down to the beach Tell me how does it feel when your heart grows cold How does it feel? How should I feel? Tell me how does it feel? To treat me like you do Behold! s The Nightmare

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [12 Dec 2003|12:31pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | some hispanic crap ] I'm at school and I'm bored ... yeah BCIS ... well I finished my mousetrap car last night ... it kinda works ... it's just slow ... hopefully I get a good grade ... it was fun when me and my mom were getting high off of spray paint fumes ... well robin didn't do my hair because she did some dude's hair she didn't even know ... I was mad ... I really wanted blue highlights and I've been waiting for them for awhile ... yeah now I'm 5th chair first violin instead of 7th because of the chair test ... our concert is on monday ... and for the precal presentation i studdered alot and couldn't say Detroit ... yep yep ... that's all I can think of now and I'm trying to hurry before I get caught ... so later x.x The Nightmare

[11 Dec 2003|05:49am] [ mood | annoyed ] I'm so stupid. well, this morning my mom came in here as usual with my medicine and breakfast. she said something about connection being lost on dsl. i was still asleep so i didn't pay attention. i noticed she was standing at my computer for a long time. then i get up and look. she's looking at my IM from a conversation with felix i forgot to close since i went to sleep and didn't really get back on the computer. she read the whole conversation. she told me i don't know if i really want you seeing him anyways as she left my room. she also told me i had bad language. this is just great. Behold! The Nightmare

[09 Dec 2003|10:33pm] [ mood | depressed ] I'm sorry ... I don't mean to hurt you ... It's just me ... I have guy friends ... I don't like all of them like that ... you're the one who means something to me ... you mean the most ... I care about you and I don't want to hurt you ... that's why I say I'm sorry ... they're just people in my life ... or that I talk to ... it doesn't mean I like them more then you ... you're the one who matters ... you shouldn't care of what I think of others ... all that should matter is I love and care about you a lot and you hopefully like and care about me a lot ... I know I'm stupid for saying I love so many people ... but I'm just ignorant ... I think friends or people I talk to care ... and that's why I say I love them .... fuck I'm stupid ... I'm just stupid and vulnerable Behold! s The Nightmare

[08 Dec 2003|06:39pm] [ mood | giggly ] FAIRY TALE nce upon a time there has a young DOCTOR named FELIX. He was RAPIDLY FINGERING in the MEAN forest when he met FLUFFY LINUS, a run-away ARTIST from the SPIKEY Queen FAE. FELIX could see that FLUFFY LINUS was hungry so he reached into his CAN and give him his DARK SPAGHETTI. FLUFFY LINUS was thankful for FELIX's SPAGHETTI, so he told FELIX a very BROWNISH story about Queen FAE's daughter AURORA. How her mother, the SPIKEY Queen FAE, kept her locked away in a CHURCH protected by a gigantic RAVEN, because AURORA was so FUNNY. FELIX PLAYED. He vowed to FLUFFY LINUS the ARTIST that he would save the FUNNY AURORA. He would HIDES the RAVEN, and take AURORA far away from her eveil mother, the SPIKEY Queen FAE, and PLAYS her. Then, all of the sudden, there was a FOXY TORNADO and FLUFFY LINUS the ARTIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic RAVEN from his story. SPIKEY Queen FAE DIED out from behind a SHOE and struck FELIX dead. In the far off CHURCH you could hear a BUZZ. THE END. Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com The Nightmare

[08 Dec 2003|05:20pm] [ mood | melancholy ] wash your nervous hands.....linus and wes are great. blah. *rolls eyes* and so many other guys, is there even hope for devotion? i dont know. If you want someone, theres certain borders and there are no bridges to cross them. What shocks me is the way you can easily tell other and many guys you love them and shit. I dont know how to feel. So many guys loved by you. I feel like a statistic for some reason now. I hope this mends from me.:-( that's what felix put in his aim profile ... i suck ... yeah i do ... today sucks ... yesterday sucks ... paxil doesn't help .. it was in my mind ... and now that bad things have happened ... i'm depressed ... i just want to go to sleep ... i want to get away ... felix doesn't believe me ... i suck Behold! s The Nightmare

[07 Dec 2003|09:53pm] [ mood | sad ] today sucks alot ... first of all ... i had to go to lowe's with my mom and dad and we almost ripped our throats out ... my dad was like you should of made a list ... well you can't make a list when the directions say to use stuff you find ... i have so much homework to do with my projects monday and tuesday nights ... not to long ago my grandpa called and informed us that our aunt dee died from a heart attack today ... she was kinda young i guess ... but she was overweight and smoked cigarettes ... she also couldn't do much physical activity because her leg has barely healed from when it broke when she fell down a flight of stairs ... my uncle bobby and her lived in minnesota ... neither of them had a job and my uncle has been looking for one since june when the airline industry laid him off ... i don't know what's gonna happen now ... i just feel so bad ... i'm so worried ... i'm just hoping for happy things soon ... i'm supposed to get blue streaks and felix is gonna come on the 19th .................................................... my mom just talked to me ... she said apparently aunt dee has a massive heart attack and my uncle tried to revive her but couldn't and he's unconsollablaj;dsf ok yeah i know spelling ... it just sucks ... i'm so worried about him ... he's at a place with no relatives but hers ... and his wife just died ... i'm just worried ... i want to be happy ... blah i saw that wes got on aim ... and right after that my grandpa called ... Behold! s The Nightmare

[06 Dec 2003|10:23pm] [ mood | depressed ] I'm really depressed right now ... I feel like I'm about to cry ... I can't talk to Felix because he's talking on the phone to someone about something important ... I need to talk to someone ... I'm sad when I don't talk to Felix ... I think that's bad ... because right now all my happiness is basically from him ... and if he were not to like me ... I don't know what I would do ... I'm pathetic Behold! s The Nightmare

[06 Dec 2003|06:01pm] [ mood | bored ] Morpheus ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla SimilarMinds Compatibility Results bluepixie225 |||||||||| 100% |||||||| 81% maidenman4444 ||||||||| 88% |||||||| 78% zwietracht |||||||| 76% ||||||||| 88% sharkman1982 ||||||| 73% |||||||| 84% wing1355_ang31 ||||||| 72% |||||||| 79% killer_bunny ||||||||| 85% ||||||| 67% belle_la_noire ||||||| 70% ||||||| 75% spaztcweezl ||||||| 67% |||||| 58% similar complementary   How compatible are you and your friends? more people did that apparently x.x The Nightmare

[05 Dec 2003|05:20pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | jack off jill - witch hunt ] SimilarMinds Compatibility Results bluepixie225 |||||||||| 100% |||||||| 81% maidenman4444 ||||||||| 88% |||||||| 78% zwietracht |||||||| 76% ||||||||| 88% belle_la_noire ||||||| 70% ||||||| 75% similar complementary   How compatible are you and your friends? Behold! The Nightmare

[05 Dec 2003|04:43pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Otep - Possession ] yeah I haven't updated for awhile ... I've changed alot ... I've been talking to people ... I'm in Joenny and Theo's precal project group and it's about deer herding ... yeah Theo likes the same music I do and I talk to him alot ... I got both of their AIM names ... I went over to Joenny's house last night to work on the project .. and we got no where ... we just talked and shit ... they stole my phone, my cd player, my wallet and my glasses ... but I finally got them all back when it was time for me to go ... today I got Ann and Nick's AIM names ... they're both in my English class ... I'm not sure if it's the Paxil working or if I want to interact with people ... tonight me and Elena are gonna eat and see a movie ... it's fucking cold out ... because of the wind and humidity ... I've been talking to a guy Felix ... he lives in the Galleria area ... he saw my name on FTJ ... he's really cool and I like him alot :$ ... I've been talking to him on the phone ... and he's supposed to come see me on the 19th ... I'm worried about how he's gonna get here because it's so far away for him ... he doesn't have a car ... oh oh oh oh ... Robin's gonna give me blue highlights Thursday and I can't wait ... I've been wanting them for awhile and now I finally get them ... hopefully my school admin aren't assholes about it ... I don't think it's gonna stand out that much ... yeah ... that's all for now The Nightmare

[01 Dec 2003|07:25pm] [ mood | blah ] blah boredom ... and my head is pounding ... i can't get sick again .. The Nightmare

[30 Nov 2003|10:58pm] [ mood | bored ] I adopted a cute lil' fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' fetus in a tie from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' fairy fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' Scotty fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' kitty fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' gothy fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! I adopted a cute lil' monkey fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! ok i got bored ^.^ The Nightmare

[30 Nov 2003|10:48pm] [ mood | tired ] this holiday week sucked ... i didn't do anything ... i didn't do any of my homework ... hopefully none of it is due tomorrow otherwise i'm dead dead dead ... school sucks x.x ... ah i don't know if my medication has helped any yet ... still have the hopeless feeling where i don't want to get up to do anything ... yeah i just hope it's not due tomorrow ... i'll check my work in the morning after i get ready for school to see if any of it is due ... and if it is ... i'll freak out or something x.x The Nightmare

[28 Nov 2003|12:47am] [ mood | blah ] lIltxbOI911: the smashing pumpkins broke up Modest Faerie: i know that Modest Faerie: it was three years ago .... Modest Faerie: or four lIltxbOI911: it was? Modest Faerie: yeah lIltxbOI911: what was Modest Faerie: when they broke up lIltxbOI911: who broke up Modest Faerie: the smashing pumpkins Modest Faerie: duh lIltxbOI911: ok? lol lIltxbOI911: -pokes side- Modest Faerie: hmm lIltxbOI911: umm...did i say that??? "the smashing pumpkins broke up" Modest Faerie: yeah lIltxbOI911: i swear, i didnt' say it.... lIltxbOI911: but i was logged on this s/n on the other computer too lIltxbOI911: on both at the same time for some reason lIltxbOI911: and i went over there and i was still away and it said i said it... lIltxbOI911: ok...i have my info from my other computer lIltxbOI911: it should be different lIltxbOI911: this is weird lIltxbOI911: brb Modest Faerie: ok lIltxbOI911: ok im signed off on that computer now lIltxbOI911: but i still have the info from that computer Modest Faerie: weird lIltxbOI911: i dont know, my brother was on the other computer playing a game lIltxbOI911: maybe he took off my away message and typed that to you... :-\ lIltxbOI911: and put it back on? some people are just stupid ... oh yeah my thanksgiving was ok i guess ... but we did have our usual family arguements and fights >. The Nightmare

[26 Nov 2003|01:50pm] [ mood | bored ] I'm a Heretic! Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You? Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons The Nightmare

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